1000+ Funny Status for Whatsapp in English | Funny Crazy Whatsapp Status in English

Funny Status for Whatsapp in English

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode. 😂

Never Get Jealous When You See Your Ex With Someone Else, Because Our Parents Taught Us To Give Our Used Toys To The Less Fortunate. 😂

Take my advice — I’m not using it. 😂

Hey there Whatsapp is using me. 😂

Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity. 😂

Explore more: Smile Status for Whatsapp

I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff. 😂

You can never buy Love… But still you have to pay for it… 😂

Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status? 😂

My job is secure. No one else wants it. 😂

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me! 😂

Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
Funny Status for Whatsapp in English

My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death… 😂

For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake. 😂

Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook. 😂

Save water – Drink beer! 😂

Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood. 😂

Read more: Cool Whatsapp Status in Hindi

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it. 😂

Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams. 😂

My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy… so I got drunk. 😂

God is really creative, I mean just look at me 😛 😂

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire. 😂

Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
Funny Status for Whatsapp in English

Amazing Funny Whatsapp Status in English

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often. 😂

When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be ‘I left one million dollars in the…’ 😂

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer. 😂

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. 😂

My father always told me, find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life. 😂

Don’t miss: Best Whatsapp Status in English

Life is too short smile while you still have teeth… 😂

My wallet is like onion, opening it makes me cry. 😂

My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours. 😂

I’m jealous of my parents… I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs! 😂

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. 😂

Amazing Funny Whatsapp Status in English
Amazing Funny Whatsapp Status in English

Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley… 😂

Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not. 😂

Do you know the meaning of ABCDEF? A boy can do everything for Girl. Reverse the meaning of, GFEDCBA … Girl forgets everything done & Catches new boy Again. 😂

Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship 😛 😂

C.L.A.S.S – Come late and start sleeping 🙂 😂

Don’t miss: Best Whatsapp Status in English

Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day. 😂

People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym. 😂

Relationship Status: Looking for a FREE WiFi connection. 😂

There are a lot of fish in the sea, but I think there’s a hole in my net. 😂

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later. 😂

Amazing Funny Whatsapp Status in English
Amazing Funny Whatsapp Status in English

Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk. 😂

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 😂

We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook 😀 😂

Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL 😂

Want to learn how to dance? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, You’ll rock like SHAKIRA. Wakkawakka 😛

Must read: Love Whatsapp Status in English

This is the beginning of the sentence you just finished reading. 😂

WoW now I’m a graduate… Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains. 😂

When everything’s coming your way, you are in the wrong lane. 😂

Me and my wife lived happily for 25 years and then we met… 😂

Good Morning, let the stress begin… 😂

Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line
Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line

As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in schools. 😂

Don’t settle for good. Demand Great! 😂

Hakuna Matata – The great motto to live life! 😂

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. 😂

Price is what you pay. Value is what you get. 😂

Enjoy: Cool Whatsapp Status in English

Eat – Sleep – Regret – Repeat. 😂

I am not stubborn, I am just always right. 😂

Sometimes i just wish i’ could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it. 😂

Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely. 😂

Move on… 😂

Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line
Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line

Amazing Short Funny Status For Whatsapp

C.L.A.S.S – Come Late And Start Sleeping. 😂

Young love is two hearts with only one thing in mind. 😂

I’ll be a billionaire once I’m done inventing this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet. 😂

If you stop telling lies about me, I’ll stop telling the truth about you. 😂

The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any. 😂

Remember, when she cancels a date she has to But when he cancels a date he has TWO. 😂

A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use? Trainer replies: Use the AT 😂

I should have come with a manual. I confuse myself. 😂

People are like music some say the truth and rest, just noise. 😂

Amazing Short Funny Status For Whatsapp
Amazing Short Funny Status For Whatsapp

We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die. 😂

For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept. 😂

It’s not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live. 😂

Love is that state of mind when a karan johar film becomes bearable. 😂

Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so near to Monday???? 😂

Read more: Sad Status For Whatsapp in Hindi

Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if tomorrow is last one. 😂

Always remember you are UNIQUE – Just like everybody else. 😂

Life is like ice cream, enjoy it before it melts. 😂

You don’t have to like me… I am not a facebook status. 😂

The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude. 😂

I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition. 😂

Amazing Short Funny Status For Whatsapp
Amazing Short Funny Status For Whatsapp

Funny One Liners for Whatsapp Status

Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train. 😂

At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food 🙂 😂

Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. 😂

Whatsapp status is loading…

More: Cool Whatsapp Status in Hindi

Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely. 😂

Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot. 😂

One more password got married…! 😂

Happiness is when ‘Last seen at’ changes to ‘Online’ and then to ‘Typing…’ 😂

I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as ‘Free Recharge’ 😂

WARNING!! I know karate …..and some other words!!! 😂

Funny One Liners for Whatsapp Status
Funny One Liners for Whatsapp Status

I Am Not Special, I Am Just Limited Edition! 😂

I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 😂

Take Life, one cup at a time! 😂

Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong. 😂

They say we learn from our mistakes. So, I’m making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius :-B 😂

Check above: Best Whatsapp Status in Hindi

Keep moving! Nothing new to read… 😂

Waiting for Wi-Fi Network… 😂

Status under construction. 😂

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world each day fit exactly the length of newspaper. 😂

Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation. 😂

Funny One Liners for Whatsapp Status
Funny One Liners for Whatsapp Status

Best Whatsapp Status in English

A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for long time!! 😂

I love my job only when I am on vacation 😂

The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling* 😂

Sleep till you’re hungry… Eat till you’re sleepy. 😂

It must be difficult to post inspirational status when your blood type is B Negative. 😂

Must read: Love Whatsapp Status in English

There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-vegetarian and Tuesday / Saturday 😂

Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent! that’s why I’m always calm and silent… 😂

Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it. 😂

One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry. 😂

Second chances are for losers, either we do it in first place or live it for others. 😂

Best Whatsapp Status in English
Best Whatsapp Status in English

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 😂

While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one. 😂

Lovely days in my life: Childhood Days, School Days & collage Days, Horrible days in my life: ONLY EXAM DAYS. 😂

Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear makeup and boys lie. 😂

If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called ANGRY BIRDS. 😂

Explore more: Funny Status for Whatsapp in English

Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpick? 😂

Sorry, I can’t hang out. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time. 😂

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you. 😂

We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police 😂

If I’d shot you sooner, I’d be out of jail by now. 😂

One wise guy invented mobile application Whatsapp and his wife added last seen feature… 😂

Funny One Liners for Whatsapp Status
Funny One Liners for Whatsapp Status

Crazy Whatsapp Status in English

Don’t be happy.I don’t Really forgive people,I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them. 😂

Don’t Live Your Life on Assumptions!! They are Best kept for Physics and Maths!! 😂

Jealousy = I actually care about you. 😂

Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing. 😂

If money grew on trees – girls wouldn’t mind dating monkeys. 😂

Explore more: Smile Status for Whatsapp

Why is abbreviation such a long word? 😂

When I’m on my deathbed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the… 😂

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? 😂

Love is 1 drink and 2 Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!” 😂

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring. 😂

Crazy Whatsapp Status in English
Crazy Whatsapp Status in English

Once a cheater always a repeater… 😂

Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example. 😂

FACT: Every piece of plastic ever made still exists. Say no to Plastic. 😂

I wanna be nice but some people are so annoying. 😂

If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ. 😂

Explore more: Best Happy Friendship Day Quotes

I’m soo poor… I can’t even pay attention 😂

I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them… 😂

A clean house is the sign of a broken computer. 😂

People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.76. It’s cute when your crush’s crush is uuh 😉 😂

Excuse me is your last name Gillette? …because you are the best a man can get! 😂

BEST Funny Status for Whatsapp in English

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half. 😂

The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures. 😂

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child. 😂

I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash. 😂

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think. 😂

if your dog barks and enemies laugh take it serious. 😂

I’m so awesome that I wish I could be you, just so I could hang out with me! 😂

Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage. 😂

Vegetarians, if you want animals to live, why do you eat their food. 😂

If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used. 😂

Don’t miss: Hurt Status for WhatsApp and Facebook

I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card. 😂

“It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” 😂

Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else. 😂

Lazy Rule : Can’T Reach It. Don’T Need It. 😂

Life Is Short. Smile While You Still Have Teeth. 😂

Dear I Know We Had Problems When I Was Younger….But I Love You Now. 😂

Women May Not Hit Harder. But They Hit Lower. 😂

Marriage Lets You Annoy One Special Person For The Rest Of Your Life. 😂

The Four Words A Girl Most Wants To Hear. I Bought You Food. 😂

Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed. 😂

Crazy Whatsapp Status in English
Crazy Whatsapp Status in English

Funny Status for Friends

Remember If We Get Caught, You Are Deaf And I Don’T Speak English. 😂

If You Tickle Me, I’M Not Responsible For Your Injuries. 😂

Interrupt My Sleep & I’Ll Interrupt Your Breathing. 😂

Sometimes You Just Want To Throw Fertilizer At People So They Grow Up. 😂

If People Are Talking About You Behind Your Back, Then Just Fart. 😂

If Women Could Read Minds, Every Second Man Will Get Slapped. 😂

Enjoy more: Funny Whatsapp Status in Hindi

It’S Better To Be Absolutely Ridiculous Than Absolutely Boring 😂

I Won’T Be Impressed With Technology Until I Can Download Food. 😂

There’S Always A Person That You Hate For No Reason. 😂

Kiss Me If I’M Wrong But Dinosaurs Still Exist Right ? 😂

Funny Status for Friends
Funny Status for Friends

If Each Day Is A Gift, I Would Like To Know Where I Can Return Mondays. 😂

Please God If You Can’T Make Me Slim. Make My Friends Fat. 😂

Oh! I Am Sorry. I Forgot. I Only Exist When You Need Something. 😂

After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful. 😂

Even fools seem smart when they are quiet 😂

More: 155+ Romantic Love Whatsapp Status in English

Women only need 5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, it’s called a credit card. 😂

Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them. 😂

Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes. 😂

If swimming is an exercise then why do whales are fat. 😂

“Always be true to yourself” because you only lie to others! 😂

Funny Status for Friends
Funny Status for Friends

Funny WhatsApp Status to Make others Laugh

You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone. 😂

Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe, one day, you’ll find a brain back there 😂

I don’t make mistakes. I date them. 😂

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive. 😂

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body. 😂

Read above: Brother Status For Whatsapp

I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. 😂

Isn’t it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it. 😂

I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone. 😂

I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror. 😂

If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments. 😂

Funny WhatsApp Status to Make others Laugh
Funny WhatsApp Status to Make others Laugh

Never laugh at your girlfriend’s choices… you are one of them. 😂

When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running. 😂

On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m a 15 😂

A day without sunshine is like, night. 😂

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. 😂

Beautiful Miss you Mom Status & Quotes For Whatsapp And Facebook

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest? 😂

Death is hereditary. 😂

I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food. 😂

If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. 😂

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day. 😂

Funny WhatsApp Status to Make others Laugh
Funny WhatsApp Status to Make others Laugh

Funny Status on Life

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you. 😂

You never know what you have until you clean your room. 😂

With great power comes great electricity bill. 😂

A jealous woman does better research than FBI. 😂

People say you cannot live without love, I think oxygen is more important. 😂

 

Life is not a fairytale, if you miss your shoe at night, you are drunk. 😂

Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja. 😂

If only closed minds came with closed mouths. 😂

My ex had one very annoying habit. Breathing. 😂

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it. 😂

Funny Status on Life
Funny Status on Life

Easiest way to feel smart is sharing smart quotes. 😂

Sometimes it hurts physically to hold in my sarcastic comments. 😂

Everyone atleast needs one friendship..based on sarcasm and flirt. 😂

If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question. 😂

People like you are the reason, people like me need meditation. 😂

I tried my best to see things from your point of view, but your point of view is stupid. 😂

Romantic WhatsApp Status in Hindi, Romantic WhatsApp & Facebook Status

You bring out the best insults in me. 😂

You are offended by the things I say? Imagine the things I hold back! 😂

Words cannot express how much I don’t care 😂

I am not single. I am in a long-term relationship with fun and freedom. 😂

Don’t make me mess your world up with the truth. 😂

Funny Status on Life
Funny Status on Life

Best WhatsApp Status Quotes

I don’t like morning people..or morning.. or people! 😂

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. 😂

If you’re born in the month of September, it is pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. 😂

Old fart, young heart. 😂

Life is not a fairy tale, If you lose a shoe at midnight, you’re drunk. 😂

You may like: Attitude Whatsapp Status in English

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. 😂

Females are really funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthdays. 😂

I wonder how on my birthday I get presents and money. I get paid for being born. It is like being Kim Kardashian for a day. 😂

I’m not 30, I’m 17 with 13 years of experience! 😂

How to kill all your enemies? SMILE. 😀

Best WhatsApp Status Quotes
Best WhatsApp Status Quotes

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened. 😂

I was gonna make you a rum cake but now I am drunk this is just a cake. 😂

Enjoy your day, you’re not extinct yet! 😂

No, there can’t be a crisis today. The boss is on leave. 😂

My fate line shows a long road with a lot of traffic jams! 😂

I drink to forget I drink. 😂

Time Is Precious. Waste It Wisely. 😂

Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping. 😂

With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill. 😂

Best WhatsApp Status Quotes
Best WhatsApp Status Quotes

Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas

Don’T Think Of Yourself As An Ugly Person. Think If Yourself As A Beautiful Monkey. 😂

If Stress Burned Calories, I’D Be A Supermodel. 😂

Be Warned : I’M Bored. This Could Get Dangerou 😂

As Usual, There Is A Great Woman Behind Every Idiot. 😂

Cell Phones These Days Keep Getting Thinner & Smarter. People The Opposite. 😂

Feeling Sad Status For Whatsapp | Feeling Upset Status for Whatsapp

My Boss Told Me To Have A Good Day….So I Went Home. 😂

The Word ” Studying ” Was Made Up Of Two Words Originally ” Students Dying “. 😂

I’ Not Hungry. But I Am Bored. Therefore, I Shall Eat. 😂

Sleeping Is My Drug. My Bed Is My Dealer & My Alarm Clock Is The Police. 😂

My Mom Said ” Follow Your Dreams “, So I Went Back To Bed. 😂

Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas
Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas

I Don’T Have A Bucket List But My Fucket List Is A Mile Long. 😂

I Will Slap You So Hard That Even Google Won’T Able To Find You. 😂

Sometimes, I Forgot How To Spell A Word So I Change The Whole Sentence To Avoid Using It. 😂

When I Was A Kid I Used To Think The Moon Followed Our Car Everywhere. 😂

If You Say You’Re Cooler Than Me….Does That Make Me Hotter Than You ? 😂

Funny Quotes About Attitude (Funny Attitude Statuses & Quotes)

My Goal This Weekend Is To Move Only Enough So People Know I’M Not Dead. 😂

I Don’T Need A Hair Stylist, My Pillow Gives Me A New Hairstyle Every Morning. 😂

I Wasn’T Mad. But Now That You Asked Me 7 Times If I’M Mad…Yes, I’M Mad ! 😂

I Am Not Single. I Am In A Long Distance Relationship Because My Future Boyfriend Lives In Future. 😂

The Biggest Difference Between Men And Women Is What Comes To Mind When The Word Facial Is Used. 😂

Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas
Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas

Best Funny Cool Whatsapp Status Ideas

I Will Do Anything Humanly Possible To Reach The Remote Without Getting Up. 😂

Sometimes I Wish I Was A Bird….So I Could Fly Over Certain People & Poop On Their Heads. 😂

I Wish I Lived In A World Wher Mosquitoes Would Such Fat Instead Of Blood. 😂

God Made Every Person Different. He Got Tired By The Time He Got To China. 😂

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. 😂

Explore more: Short Attitude Whatsapp Status

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. 😂

ETC – End of Thinking Capacity. 😂

I Graduated from the University of Selfies! 😂

My study period = 15 My break time = 3 hours. 😂

I Think The Woman Who Invented The Phrase “All Men Are The Same” Was A Chinese Woman Who Lost Her Husband In The Crowd. 😂

Best Funny Cool Whatsapp Status Ideas
Best Funny Cool Whatsapp Status Ideas

If You`Re Texting Two People At The Same Time, You Are Bi-textual. 😂

I desperately need a fixed income – Mine is broken. 😂

Why’s NASA never sent a woman to the Moon? Because it doesn’t need cleaning yet. 😂

Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped. 😂

Women love shoes because no matter how much & whatever they eat, the shoe always fits. 😂

Latest Shab-E-Barat Status And Wallpaper For Facebook And Whatsapp

Marriage is like a workshop. Husband works and my wife shops. 😂

Status Unavailable, please try and reload again. 😂

Phones are better than GF, At least we can switch it off. 😂

I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. 😂

Am gonna Make my Status………….better you too Focus on your Status only. 😂

Best Funny Cool Whatsapp Status Ideas
Best Funny Cool Whatsapp Status Ideas

Funny Status about Love

when nothing seems right then go left.Hey there! I am not using whatsapp. 😂

Me and my wife lived happily for 25 years… And then we met…! 😂

Too busy to update a status. 😂

People with status don’t need status. 😂

Sometimes I just wish I’ could fast forward the time to see if, in the end, it’s all worth it. 😂

Smile Status for Whatsapp, Facebook and Captions for Instagram

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.” 😂

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. 😂

If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking. 😂

I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them. 😂

All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips. 😂

Funny Status about Love
Funny Status about Love

Try to say the letter M without your lips touching. 😂

I used to like my neighbors until they put a password on their Wi-Fi. 😂

Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion. 😂

Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. 😂

Girls work on their looks but not their minds because they know boys are stupid, not blind. 😂

I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something. 😂

God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China. 😂

For all the girls that say ….. All guys are the same …… Who told you to try them ALL. 😂

I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday. 😂

If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects. 😂

Funny Status about Love
Funny Status about Love

Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook in English

It’s better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat. 😂

Always Speak The Truth No Matter How Bitter Harsh It It. But Run Immediately After Saying It. 😂

Long Time Ago I Used To Have A Life, Until Someone Told Me To Get Into Social Networking. 😂

Dear Math, Please Grow Up & Solve Your Own Problems. I’M Tried Of Solving Them For You. 😂

Am I Only The One Who Calculates How Much Sleep I Can Get Before Going To Bed ? 😂

I Don’T Always Get Asked Out On A Date. But When I Do….It’S On April 1St. 😂

Explore: Girls WhatsApp Numbers Collection For Friendship

I”M Going To Bed Really Means I’M Going To Lie In Bed And Go On My Phone. 😂

My Room Is Not Messy, It Is An Obstacle Course Designed To Keep Me Fit. 😂

Math : Mental Abuse To Humans 😂

Be Strong I Whispered To My Wifi Signal. 😂

I Can’T Taste My Lips. Could You Do It For Me ? 😂

Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook in English
Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook in English

I Am Brilliant Brunette With Lots Of Blond Moments. 😂

Life Is Full Of Questions. Idiots Are Full Of Answers. 😂

Marriage Is A Workshop Where Husband Works & Wife Shops. 😂

Q Quite Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quite Woman Is Usually Mad. 😂

An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away, If You Throw It Hard Enough. 😂

If I Had A Dollar For Every Smart Thing You’Ve Said I’D Be Poor. 😂

I Am Currently Experiencing Life At The Rate Of 15 Wtf’S Every Hours. 😂

I’Ll Be Back In 5 Minutes But If I’M Not Just Read This Message Again. 😂

All My Life I Thought Air Was Free….Untill I Bought A Bag Of Chips. 😂

Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook in English
Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook in English

Funny Quotes

I’M Going To Stand Outside. So If Anyone Asks, I Am Outstanding. 😂

You Don’T Have To Be Crazy To Hang Out With Me. I’Ll Train You. 😂

I Love My Six Pack So Much. I Protect It With A Layer Of Fat. 😂

Zombies Are Looking For Brain. Don’T Sorry. You Are Safe. 😂

When Life Gives You Lemons, Squirt Someone In The Eye. 😂

Romantic Love Status For Whatsapp in Hindi (WhatsApp Status About Love)

I Will Marry A Girl Who Looks Pretty In Aadhaar Card. 😂

Don’t Make Me Laugh. I’M Trying To Be Mad At You. 😂

Nobody Texts Faster Than A Pissed Off Female. 😂

I’M Great In Bed. I Can Sleep For Days. 😂

Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting. 😂

Funny Quotes
Funny Quotes

Definition of a human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write “SAVE TREES” on the same paper.- say no to exams. 😂

Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you Guys. 😂

I don’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt. LOLz. 😂

Dear Food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat. 😂

The awkward moment when you know you shouldn`t laugh, but you do. 😂

Explore: Status for WhatsApp and Facebook

Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shopping does. 😂

Some wise guy created Whatsapp…..and his wife added last seen feature. 😂

I feel like I should clean the house, so I am going to lay down and nap until that feeling passes. 😂

People are making end of the world jokes. Like there is no tomorrow. 😂

People who write “u” instead of “you”. What do you do with all the time you save? 😂

Funny Quotes
Funny Quotes

Funny Status Lines For Whatsapp

Everything on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius. 😂

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep! 😂

I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not. 😂

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. 😂

Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance? 😂

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right. 😂

I am so poor, I can’t even pay attention 😂

I have not failed, my success is just postponed for some time. 😂

One person’s LOL is another person’s WTF. 😂

I will be back before you pronounce afjkhnfknlfueufuancakhufhjcnk. 😂

Funny Status Lines For Whatsapp
Funny Status Lines For Whatsapp

Knowledge is like underwear, important to have, but not necessary to show off. 😂

Life is too short to update WhatsApp statuses 😂

Don`t you know it`s rude to talk while I`m interrupting? 😂

People Say Everything Happens For A Reason, So When I Punch You In The Face, Remember I Have A Reason. 😂

I’M Super Lazy Today !! Which Is Like Normal Lazy, But I’M Also Wearing A Cape. 😂

Must read: Whatsapp Groups For Friendship and Fun

I Smile Because You’Re My Family. I Laugh Because There’S Nothing You Can Do About It. 😂

During The Day, I Don’T Believe In Ghosts. Ar Night I’M Little More Open-Minded. 😂

I Hate When I Plan Conversation In My Head & Other Person Doesn’T Follow The Damn Script. 😂

When Guys Get Jealous, Its Actually Kind A Cute. When Girls Get Jealous World War Iii Is A About To Start. 😂

That Moment When You Miss One Step On The Stairs & You Think You’Re About To Die. 😂

Funny Status Lines For Whatsapp
Funny Status Lines For Whatsapp

Funny Whatsapp Status in English

I Don’T Have To Worry About Getting Kidnapped, They Would Bring Me Back In Less Than An Hour. 😂

Chocolates Comes From Cocoa, Which Is Tree. That Makes It A Plant….So Chocolate Is A Salad. 😂

I Hate It When People Are At Your House & Ask ” Do You Have A Bathroom ?” No, We Pee In The Yard. 😂

Life Is Too Short To Be Serious All The Time. So, If You Can’T Laugh At Yourself, Call Me….I’Ll Laugh At You. 😂

My Idea Of A Good Morning Is One When I Open My Eyes, Take A Deep Breath, Then Go Back To Sleep. 😂

They Say That Love Is More Important Than Money, But Have Ever Tried To Pay Your Bills With A Hug ? 😂

People Have Become Really Naughty On Whatsapp. Even Married Women Have Put Their Status As ” Available “. 😂

It Takes Real Skill To Choke On Air, Fall Up Stairs & Trip Over Completely Nothing. I Have That Skill. 😂

Its Really Funny And Hilarious When Wife Thinks Shes Punishing Her Husband By Not Talking To Him For Days. 😂

Funny Whatsapp Status in English
Funny Whatsapp Status in English

Everything Happens For A Reason. But Sometimes The Reason Is That You’Re Stupid And You Make Bad Decision. 😂

I Wish Falling In Love Has Traffic Light Too, So That I Would Know If I Should Go For It, Slow Down, Or Just Stop. 😂

When You’Are Stressed, You Eat Ice Cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why ? Because Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts. 😂

Whenever I Have A Panic Attach I Put A Brown Paper Big Over My Mouth…And Drink All Of The Vodka Inside It Seems To Help. 😂

When I Text You A Massive Paragraph And You Reply 40 Minutes Late With ” K “….Are You Asking To Be Punched ? 😂

Sad Status for Whatsapp in English (Sad Whatsapp Status Quotes in English)

When I Call My Parents & They Don’T Answer It’S No Big Deal But When They Call Me & I Don’T Answer Its Like To World War Iii. 😂

People Often Say Laughter Is The Best Medicine, But They Neglect To Mention That An Overdose Can Cause One’S Ass Too Fall Off. 😂

When You’Are Stressed, You Eat Ice Cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why ? Because Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts. 😂

I Changes My Password To “Incorrect” So Whenever I Forget What It Is, The Computer Will Say ” Your Password Is Incorrect “. 😂

You and your rumors have two things in common, you’re both fake and you both get around. 😂

If life gives you lemons, squirt them in your enemy’s eye. 😂

I’m the person that the more you complain about me, the harder I’ll try to annoy you. 😂

Funny Whatsapp Status in English
Funny Whatsapp Status in English

Best Collection of Whatsapp Status Ever

Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left. 😂

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 😂

Act crazy, don’t regret, do things you would never ever do because life is short so live it up! 🙂 😂

I will kill you with my awesomeness… 😂

I can handle pain until it hurts. 😂

Must read: Whatsapp Groups For Friendship and Fun

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. 😂

The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth. 😂

I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school. 😂

Kiss me and you will see how important I am. 😂

If you can’t find the key to success, change the damn lock. 😂

Best Collection of Whatsapp Status Ever
Best Collection of Whatsapp Status Ever

Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible. 😂

Teacher: Who can explain gender discrimination with an example? Student: Women can sleep with whoever they want, men have to sleep with whoever lets them. 😂

Whenever I find key to success, someone changes the lock. 😂

I shouldn’t have to earn you time or attention, you should want to give it! 😂

Remember how you treated me so when I treat you like that you can understand why! 😂

If you can’t convince them, confuse them 😂

Silence doesn’t always mean you’re mad… sometimes it just means you have nothing to say. 😂

How can I miss something I never had? 😂

That awkward moment when the awkward moment get even more awkward! 😂

Best Collection of Whatsapp Status Ever
Best Collection of Whatsapp Status Ever

Funny Crazy Whatsapp Status in English

Totally available! Please disturb me… 😂

I speak two languages, Body and English. 😂

Nothing is lost until mom can’t find it. 😂

Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class then in bed. 😂

Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing. 😂

Single doesn’t always mean available… 😂

Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside. 😂

Silence is the loudest words you can speak sometimes when you want to be heard more. 😂

I am crazy and hyper but that is 2 reasons why I am lovable. 😂

More: Cool and Funny WhatsApp Group Names for Friends

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. 😂

the best one night stand is masturbation…you get to play with p#%^y and don’t have explain why later…lol 😂

When I’m good, I’m very good and when I’m bad, I’m sensational! 😂

If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers. 😂

I can only bottle so much inside, and right now, I’ve got more bottled up than a Coca-Cola factory. 😂

The question I have not been able to answer is “What… does a woman want?” 😂

Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighboring table n wish you”d ordered that. 😂

Funny Crazy Whatsapp Status in English
Funny Crazy Whatsapp Status in English

Mirza Faizan Iqbal

Mirza Faizan Iqbal is well known by (Mirza) is 27 Year Old , Internet Entrepreneur, SEO Strategist and The Founder of GreetingsMag.
My mission is to make SEO and internet marketing more accessible to entrepreneurs to help them turn their passion into profit and build the life they want.

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